We have completed day two of introductions and we couldn’t be happier. Yes it feels strange after all this time to meet the boys. Yes it feels strange to be in someone else’s house, where they have established routines, rules and structures. Yes it feels daunting wondering what each day will bring but I can honestly say our connection and love for these boys blossoms and grows each day.
Turning up on the first day and seeing them excited at the window. Hearing them say here’s Daddy and Dad and then spending four wonderful hours together was an experience I will never forget. They are, and were, simply divine and the love we already had for them grew stronger.
The foster carers have been amazing. I am so in awe of what they do, how they do it and the immense love, structure, boundaries and routines they have developed with the boys. Helping them to grow as brothers but also as individuals. Then allowing the two of us into this special sanctuary can’t be easy.
We left the first day in love, excited, apprehensive and knowing this felt totally right. We spent four wonderful hours together, talking, playing, hugging, sitting on laps watching TV, reading books and watching our welcome video over and over again. They had lots of questions about the house and they also picked up on things in the background of the video, such as the upstairs utility room. Some really good attachment development even on day one.
We slept surprisingly well on the first night. Feeling this immense sense of relief that a) the first day went well, b) they remembered us, c) they were excited and d) we left hungry for more.
Day two was more time together and less excitement over just something new. Lots of playing, arts and crafts, watching Paw Patrol and plenty of bonding and attachment building activities. They loved the, ” I am asleep but wake me up game”. We also played hide and seek as well as musical statues.
The lack of it being just a new exciting event in fact meant we got to see more of the boys personalities, behaviours and nuances that we need to learn, to love and to understand. It dawned on us today just how hard but great this is going to be. Unlike parents who have children from birth and can slowly nurture and learn their child’s personalities we have had this event and BANG ! chosen to be in a situation now where we have to quickly learn the nuances, personalities, woes and triggers, without having the benefit of having developed them. This hit us hard when they each had a melt down over things during the day but again nothing scared us. In fact we warmed to them more as the day went on. If that’s possible.
We enjoyed a bike ride to and through the park. Oh my god, these boys can cycle and cycle fast! I decided to jog with the younger one around the park but soon realised I need to get my fitness levels up! We had so much fun cycling and playing and the foster dad left us for some time so we could be on our own. A really nice touch to allow some key attachment bonding. Seeing and hearing the boys ask, “where is Daddy, that’s my Dad.” made our hearts melt. They are truly special kids.
So it’s early days yet but this intense love, understanding, empathy and desire to provide these boys with the best life ever has deepened.
The love has blossomed and I can only see this growing further. Here’s to another day of great interactions and fun.